I Was Waiting For This

I figured this was coming. This morning Facebook's "On This Day" feature showed me a post I wrote two years ago that reminded me of one of the darkest days of my life. I'm not sharing the original post because I don't need to revive it. Those of you who were here then may recall it, but by now the details are unimportant. A couple of things do seem worth noting about it, though. One is that from the two-years-out view, the cause behind the post is entirely irrelevant today, a shrinking-to-near-invisibility dot on the freeway behind me. A connection that at one time occupied the center of my attention now barely registers, hardly moves the needle. For that I can only say, "Thank [deities] and good riddance," and that is all that needs to be said. Another is that even though I was in a place beyond the darkest darkness I could imagine, I called on the power of the dozens of you who stepped in and propped me up that day, and showed me by your examples that I would survive to see dawn again. My gratitude to all of you will never cease; that's always true, but it was especially true in those moments. A couple of comments stand out in particular. In her hope-filled narrative, my dear friend Lori pointed out that "those who have wounded us are the agents of blessed change" and that we become "stronger, wiser, and better for the pain." While I would not have wished any of it on myself nor anyone else, nor do I ever wish to experience it again, both of those insights have been borne out. I survived, I leapt, I landed, and I'm exactly where I need and want to be. I'm very happy; I'm even Thriving (tm) ;) I did some deliberate and careful pruning of things that were no longer serving me, formed new friendships and honed existing ones, and came home in a way that I hadn't been in decades. Deep wounds often trigger a desire for justice and even revenge, and Lori also pointed out that "Time wounds all heels." I clung tightly to that hope two years ago, but I'm delighted to say that from where I stand now, I no longer care whether that's the case. It simply doesn't matter. Luckiest Woman On The Planet is very, very grateful.